One-Woman Show

Cindy over at My Brilliant Mistakes recently posted her response to a meme she found through Andrea’s Lip Smacking Wit. The instructions were:

Leave a comment and I’ll give you a letter. Post ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter.  Then give a letter to anyone who leaves a comment for you… and the cycle will continue.

O, cool!

I say "O" because Cindy assigned me that little loveable oval. The first things that popped into my mind, though, were Ovaltine and Oprah. Hmm. Neither one is exactly on my love list. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever had Ovaltine.

Then, all I could think of were food items: oatmeal, olives, and, again, Ovaltine — what the heck?! I like oatmeal and olives well enough, but I don’t love them. Anyway, once my mind stopped obsessing about Ovaltine, I came up with the list below:

Orchestras. I love the theater experience, and as a former band geek (flute and a brief stint playing french horn), love listening to orchestras, symphonies, and just about any live band. There is nothing like experiencing live music with musicians who can transfix an entire audience by playing songs in a way that makes it seem the notes are emanating from within them.

Oreos. Now here’s a food item I love! Oreos are kind of like my kryptonite; unfortunately, I can rationalize eating an entire box in relatively short order. Please, Oreos, use your power for good! Pretty please?

Obama. What I love about Obama — and more importantly what he symbolizes — is that he has brought us into a new era. He’s helped to break another racial barrier in the U.S. He’s given many Americans and our neighbors overseas hope and the inspiration to make changes. He used the internet and technology and got people interested in politics again — whether you love or hate him — and out of their homes to vote, something that many Americans have taken for granted in the past (myself included).

Ocean. Powerful, scary, beautiful, wonderous. There’s nothing like digging your toes in the sand, floating in the waves or watching the sun set over the water. Bonus: I’m excited to be leaving for a view of the Pacific tomorrow! California here I come!

The Office/My Office. Only in the last year have I started to watch The Office — and be still my Corporate America-made heart! How I love this show. If you haven’t worked in CubicleLand/a Cube Farm, or for a dopey boss (not that I have, current and former bosses who might be reading), or had weird coworkers (ditto on the not you! part) you may not get the humor, but I have and I do. The writing is great and the characters are not just one dimensional. Speaking of offices, I was moved into an office just this past week after several years in a very gray cubicle. I have a door! I have a door!

Did I mention I have a door?!

OK Go. Cindy actually introduced me to this group a few years ago. Their music is fun, catchy and can be sung while dancing on a treadmill. Well, by them. Me? I’d kill myself. OK Go - "Here It Goes Again"  

"O".  As in the shape of a child’s mouth on Christmas morning when he sees what Santa has left him, or the first time she watches fireworks explode in the sky.

The Other "O". As when an adult sees fireworks for other reasons. Mmm-hmm. Cue The Office joke: That’s what SHE said!

Om. Some days I’m really good at getting my Om on — staying in the moment, not letting things bother me, enjoying yoga, and literally and figuratively breathing easier; many days, however, not so much. I love the feeling of being at peace, living in the moment, and taking time out to just be. Note: yesterday, I treated myself to a hot stone massage. Not sure if that qualifies as a transcendental experience, but it sure must have been close. Om yeah!

Open.

Minds

Arms

Hearts

 Need I say more?

Leave me a comment and I’ll assign you a letter, too. Note that it will be about a week, since I’m off on a little vaca. So be good…and study up on your A-B-Cs.

Got a letter back from one of the agents I submitted my full manuscript to and — BAaaa! (sound of buzzer)

Ah, well. It was a long shot…but definitely worth a shot. Time to get the next batch of queries out.

Can you believe it’s November already? November always seems to be one of the busier months in our house and this year is no exception. It also happens to be the month in which many bloggers and writers participate in two national pain-inducing writing challenges: NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo. NaNoWriMo encourages participants to write 50,000 words towards the first draft of a new novel, while NaBloPoMo sets one blog post each day as the target for bloggers. Their popularity increases every year, and every September I think, “yeah! I’m going to do it!” But every November I bail on the idea. Why?

Because November is NaSuChoMo – National Sucky Choice Month!

Seriously, I applaud all of you who are taking part in one or both of these life-changing experiences, but I can’t.

“Why not, Susan? Are you a LoMo?” (Loser MoMo – btw, I really enjoy calling people “mo-mos” it’s fun to say, don’t you think? NoNo?) Oh, I’ll tell you, my pretties – by sharing my: 

Top 10 Reasons It’s SuNoNoMuWriMo

 (Susan’s November of Not Much Writing Month)

10. First, let’s start with the most basic rationale: it’s November 3rd! And the day is almost over! I’ve already blown the daily blogging challenge, and unless I engage in magical thinking and get started, like, NOW and forsake all my duties as an employee, mother, daughter, friend, girlfriend and human being with good hygiene and pink unicorns grow extra thick coats because hell hath frozen over, there is no way I will churn out 50K words by the end of the month.

9. After a 72-hour post-Halloween sugar high my energy has plummeted to very, very low levels. Like making me want to break into Swing Low Sweet Chariot (a.k.a. SwiLoSweeCho). I guess scarfing down 5 pounds of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups from your kids’ candy stash while they’re sleeping can be counterproductive.

8. Tomorrow night I will be too busy either crying tears of joy or tears of sorrow to write. My vote is for tears of joy (read: SaPaGoBacLa – Sarah Palin Go Back to ‘laska). Well, I may be up for helping Joe the Plumber rewrite his resume.

7. I’m going to San Diego and SoCal for a week’s vacation with FlyBoy before Thanksgiving! Yes, friends, a WEEK! Seven days of my first real, no-kids/relatives vacation in over 8 years — yowsa! Of course, I’ve been on long weekend trips with my girlfriends, but going away with the man I love? (Oops, did I SpiLoBeO – spill the love beans, oh-no?!) And, no, I’m not bringing my laptop so I can blog about it.

6. Did I mention that I’m taking FlyBoy to see Spamalot a few nights after we return? I’ve seen it once before but can’t wait to see LaLa (Lady in the Lake) singing again. Hilarious — LMAO!

5. Then, the night after that I’m taking my daughter and her friend to see The Cheetah Girls in concert. PaDaTyNo (Pass da Tylenol, please!)

4. The day after that I’ll stuff my face with turkey and all the trimmings.

3. Then, the day after that I’ll roll into work because we’re open that day (BaHuBu! – ba humbug!) to catch up on everything I fell behind on (see #7). Will begin planning how I can postpone Christmas shopping until 2009.

2. By this point I will realize I am exhausted (#s 10-3), deaf (#5), broke (#s7, 6 and 5) and fat (#s9, 7 and 4), making me too depressed to do much of anything.

The number one reason why November is SoNoGoGo:

1. By November 30th I will have realized I SHOULD have blogged every friggin’ day this month because now all I can churn out are silly top 10 lists and acronyms.

Thank you. It was the best I can do. See you in December.

(Just kidding…sort of.)

With only a few days left before the election it has become all too apparent that politics - and, more specifically, political smack-talk — is trickling down to our youngest population. For the last few nights Drama Girl and T-Rex have been chanting their candidate of choice’s name to me - the one that does NOT belong to my candidate of choice. And they’re learning all sorts of nonsense from their grade-school classmates, too. My favorites: “Mom, why would you vote for him?…”

T-Rex: “…He’s going to take away the army!”

DG: “…He’s going to make women sit at the back of the bus!”

WTF? 

“Who told you that?!”

They revealed the name of their source…and then broke into their chanting again. I might have to have a word with little Missy if I see her out trick-or-treating tomorrow night. 

Seriously, parents, I don’t care who you’re voting for — it’s a great country that we each get a vote! — but let’s stop pumping crazy talk into the school system. (Admittedly, there might be some extrapolation and exaggeration going on here — they are 7- and 9-year olds, after all — but still!)

And as for those chants? All I’ll say is that the name rhymes with

Which is exactly what I feel when I hear it.

[Insert an "L" in the word, too, for a double dose of it.]

 ”Oh, lookey! It’s time for you two to spend some time with your father. Take your chanting with you. Buh-bye!”

Every night this week the kids and I have had something going on after school and work:

• Monday: attended a friend’s jewelry party with Drama Girl while T-Rex attended a Cub Scouts meeting with The Ex
• Tuesday: worked from home followed by an orthodontist consult for Drama Girl followed by errands followed by the annual Brownies’ campfire and an evening hayride
• Wednesday: brought kids to their soccer practices (fortunately, starting at the same time and at the same locale), caught up on more work sitting in my car, and then walked around the soccer fields to get some exercise and stay warm while they practiced
• Last night: picked up the kids and then dined with my aunt and uncle, who are in from out of town, my parents, the kids and FlyBoy, who also happened to be up in the area for his work

So, considering all we’ve managed to squeeze in these last 72 hours, it’s no surprise that I had a few missteps along the way:

1. On Tuesday night I was so proud of myself that I had managed to stop at the grocery store to buy our assigned item for the cookout, pick up the kids, feed them a quick snack and get us across town for the Brownies event on time — no! 4 minutes early! — only to realize that a) I had purchased the wrong item because I had read the list of assignments wrong; and b) it started at 6:00, not 6:30.

2. After roasting hotdogs and S’mores on Tuesday my winter coat stunk like smoke, but since it was freezing the next night, too, I wore the same coat to the kids’ soccer practice while I was taking my walk around the fields. When we got home I decided to throw it in the wash — forgetting that I had put my cell phone in the pocket earlier. For an entire wash cycle.

(The kids thought this was great, btw, rivaling the time when I lost my keys in the trash and I freaked out because we couldn’t go to Krispy Kreme. Personally, between this and my car wash incident earlier this year, I think I should stay away from anything involving a battery and water.)

But guess what? MY CELL PHONE STILL WORKS!!! I dried it off and aired out the battery overnight and then recharged the phone. At first it would turn on but I couldn’t get any reception. Then, after more air-drying, I was able to get reception…but the screen was too fogged up to read anything. More air, more time — and it was fine.

I’m really happy because if it had died, I probably would have broken down and bought a Crackberry. I shudder to think what I’d do with — or because of – it.

Well, it’s time for Dinner for One again at The Imperfect Parent! This month I tried to get into the spirit of the Halloween season and offer a light, yet practical view on modern dating methods as a single parent. Admittedly, I was on an online/speed dating hiatus when I met FlyBoy, but I still contend these ways can help get you back in the game, teach or remind you about what you like and don’t like (for me: save the drama for your mama, boys!), and they work about as well as anything else, in my experience.

I mean, shoot — who the heck knows the magic formula? If I did I’d tell you for 3 installments of $39.99 — a limited time offer because I like you.

Online and speed dating also provide no shortage of blog material, as you can see in my Love Goddess-in-Training archives or by clicking on one of my favorite dating tags. Read them if you dare.

Five years ago I took my kids on a nice October day to a local farm to pick out pumpkins for Halloween. It was during my first holiday season as a divorced mom, and I remember feeling determined — DETERMINED — that we would have a fun day (dammit!). Back in 2003, I pulled a cart full of 20 pounds of pumpkins and 70 pounds of tired, whiny (albeit cute) kids, wondering how the hell was I going to do this on my own and what the future would bring.

Today, I took the kids back to that same farm where we’ve been going each year. I wasn’t anxious about making it a fun day because I knew it would be — just because it was gorgeous out and we were together. Five years and many hairstyles later (thank you, I’ve embraced my straight, dark brown hair!) T-Rex knighted me for my pumpkin-picking efforts…

…and wouldn’t you know — my kids took turns pulling the cart for me?

One of the hardest things to do when you haven’t been blogging regularly is to write your first post-hiatus entry. Say, like this one, which starts with a non-statement of the obvious to fill space. So, rather than think through all the options for restarting my blog with vim and vigor as I’ve been doing the last few days, I figured I better just write something. Therefore, I present to you, my reader(s), a random dump of what has been going on in my world:

• I finished the second “re-write” (using a writerly term) - i.e., third draft (using a non-writerly term) - of my novel and submitted it to the two agents who requested it. Oh, I guess I already told you that. Anyway

• T-Rex and Drama Girl are in the midst of soccer season right now. I’ve noticed that T-Rex has this habit of dancing around a lot, bustin’ a move to show he’s ready to kick the ball, but doesn’t actually kick the ball if it’s moving unless it bounces off his foot by accident. He also has a habit of holding himself, you know, down there, while he’s dancing/running around the field. The first time I saw this I asked The Ex, “Why does he keep holding the hem of his shirt like that?” The Ex said, “He’s not holding his shirt.”

Oh.

I advised T-Rex that it’s not appropriate to hold his penis while he’s in the middle of a game or other public settings. His response: “I was just keeping it warm.” Admittedly it was cold that day.

• I gladly opted out of all fundraising activities for the kids at school, all for $50! Yay me…

• …but I signed up to be the MagNut mom for Drama Girl’s Brownie troop - not the NutMag mom, as I originally thought it was called. (FlyBoy kept calling me Nutmeg to be funny. Ha. Ha.) Why did I sign up for this responsibility? No idea except that I fell for the “everyone is busy, so why don’t YOU step up and volunteer.” Sucker. Well, it’s way easier than being the freakin’ cookie mom freezing your ass off outside of some WalMart in March hocking overpriced cookies. So support your local Girl Scouts — buy some pecans and renew your subscription to Knitting Daily. It all helps!

• Speaking of nuts, as a belated birthday present, I offered to take Drama Girl and one of her friends to see The Cheetah Girls in concert right before Thanksgiving. Never said I was the smartest cookie/nut/nutmeg in the bunch. (BTW, Drama Girl tells me last night: “I am going to scream SO LOUD!! I can’t WAIT!”) For Christmas I’m requesting a lobotomy.

• While I haven’t been blogging I’ve still been reading all of your blogs as a lurker and sometime commenter. Thank you, All Who Blog! I really hate you sometimes because you’re so much more diligent about it than I am, but I love reading what you write. (Kidding about the hate - it’s just guilt and feelings of inadequacy on my part. You know, no need to feel bad about that or anything.)

• Once again I have a post-sniffles bout of laryngitis. This happens every time I get a cold, which usually isn’t more than twice a year, but the froggy throat side-effect has been happening for about 3 years. I am told I sound kind of sexy…when I’m not told, “My god, you sound horrible.” It depends on who I’m talking to, I guess. Fortunately, it’s only my vocal chords that seem to take the brunt; I feel okay otherwise.

• Which leads me to Susan’s Healthy Attempt at Living #3,752: I have started taking all natural herb vitamins. Lots and lots of vitamins! So, so many vitamins. I’m building my skeletal strength while getting my fish oil while shatting out the food stuff my body doesn’t need (thanks to the Food Enzyme break-down-the-crap-you-eat tablets). Actually, the Food Enzyme tablets only caused an adverse reaction the first day I took them. My digestive track was back to normal after that. TMI?

• Speaking of TMI, I have not been able to wear one of my suits to work for approximately 5 weeks now because I have to replace nearly all of the buttons and I just haven’t gotten around to doing it. (Translation: I’m lazy and/or in denial.) Buttons are popping off of everything - BUT it is not because I’m gaining weight. Oh, no - my weight gain from this summer has stabilized, thank you very much. Seriously, I’m sure some of this has to do with buttons straining, but mostly it’s because I don’t think they make things like they used to. Between that and the number dry cleaning does on fabric (sadly, my green/gentler dry cleaner closed up shop), my work clothes are falling apart. The icing on the cake was last week when I sat down 10 seconds after arriving at work and heard a ripppp. I was glad to see it was just my skirt lining and not the skirt itself that busted down my backside. Phew. It was exciting when I bought my first suit at the age of 20 or 21; now, not so exciting. Sewing buttons on has never been exciting, which is why I avoid it at all costs…until my other suits fall apart.

• Things with FlyBoy - remember him, the man who literally and figuratively fell for me? (he gets credit for that phrase, not me!) - have been terrific; we’ve been dating for almost 4 months now and are serious. Who would’ve thought? I know I promised a more detailed post, and I will keep my promise (by 2010), but suffice it to say it’s going well. He’s wonderful. And wonderful to me. What more could I ask for?

• …except a guy who’s willing to go to a fall festival in a charming town nestled in the middle of PA! Yep, believe it or not he even suggested - and ENJOYED - going to a crafty-autumn-antiquing-event. I’m not overly “crafty” (well, in the dried flowers/wood-carved antelopes sense), but it was a lot of fun to get outside on Sunday to see some artisans, eat caramel apples and see the foliage.

• Interestingly enough, on the way back home from the fall festival my kids, who were with their dad over the weekend, happened to pass us on the PA Turnpike - nowhere near where we live, I might add - and unbeknownst to me, in The Ex’s girlfriend’s vehicle. (I’ve never met her, and The Ex has never met my beau, but the kids have met both significant others.) I didn’t realize this until Drama Girl called me on my cell phone: “Mom! We just passed you on the highway. We saw your car!” “I don’t know about that, honey. There are a lot of cars that look like mine. Where are you?” “We’re on the turnpike coming back from Ohiopyle. We saw you!”

I’m pretty sure at that moment I felt the earth shake a bit from my worlds colliding. I guess that’s about as random as things can get.

(at least as much as any writer can be “done” tinkering around with her masterpiece)

Yes, I finished my latest round of polishing! The manuscript is being copied at Kinko’s as I type this, all 352 pages, 68,300+ words of it. (I’m not saying every word is a jewel, but it is something to see this 2 inch stack of paper filled with words that I wrote.) This evening I’ll ship the ms off to the two agents who requested it and we’ll see what happens.

I guess it’s time to dust off that scrap of paper I used to outline novel #2 on — one year and one week ago today. But first, I’m going to enjoy a bit of sleep. And maybe some booze.

I’ll be back to the regularly scheduled program in the next few days!

Susan

Hey, kids. I’m only a few days into my blogging break, but they’ve been productive ones (which was the idea). I’m cranking through my editing — well, okay, some minutes cranking, others creaking.

Just wanted to let you know that you can find my latest Dinner for One on what it means to be called a single mom — and whether I should call myself one. I’d be interested if any of my single parent readers have felt this way before, too (or not).

Hope you’re having a good week!

Susan